5 “I.O.U Certificates” For Your Broke Ass This Mother’s Day
You know at one time or another you have resorted to hand writing your Mom a Mother's Day gift. You have resorted to offering up your love by putting yourself “In Debt.” But Hey, it works. Moms love the “I.O.U. 1 Free Hug” or “I.O.U. 1 Free Car Wash.” Let's face it. Those just are not going to cut it in today's economy. You want to REALLY impress Mom with some “Broke Ass I.O.U Certificates?” Check out my choices.
I.O.U. – 1 Free Bitch-Out Session
You know that Mom can get pretty stressed and sometimes break down and throw out words like “You little F@#ker” and “I should have read the directions for the diaphragm installation better.” This certificate is your way of saying “Let all of your aggression out and I will take it.”
I.O.U. – 1 Free “Dress Up For A BullS#!T Occasion”
You know by now that your mom would love nothing more than to have you dress up “NICE” for a formal occasion. No matter how much you want to wear your “Pantera shirt” to your next Easter Brunch. Wash your butt, face and pits and put on something nice for Momma.
I.O.U. – 1 Free Semester Of College
Since the day you were squeezed out of your mom's loins, she has been “trippin” about how she will be able to afford your college tuition. What better way to say “HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY” to Mom than to promise that you will “lie, steal and cheat” your way through at least one semester of school.
I.O.U. – 1 Free “Will Not Call From Jail” Promise
Nothing keeps your mom awake on a Friday or Saturday night more than the thought of you calling her from jail. Here is a good tip. No matter how much you want to call her and ask her to bail you out…RESIST! Call your boss or roommate, if you have to, just as long as you don't call Mom. It is a lot easier not having to explain to her why you spent the night in the “clink” for dressing up like a donkey and offering strangers a “virtual trip to Tijuana.”
I.O.U. – 1 Free Phone Call To Grandma
You know that Mom has a hard enough time trying to take care of you. Let alone her parents. One thing that may consistently bother Mom is that you never call your grandma. If you don't call Grandma, then Mom will have to deal with the constant bitching from Grandma about it.