It's pretty easy to think of excellent places to take your mom/wife/baby mama for Mother's Day brunch or dinner. But just in case you're one of those boneheads who typically ends up in trouble after every holiday, here are 5 places in Missoula mom definitely does not want to go for Mother's Day.

  • 5

    Hooters

    LOVE Hooters on a normal day, don't get me wrong, but you'll be hard pressed to find a mom who wants to go there for Mother's Day. No sane man, woman or child would do Mom's Day dinner at Hooters. However, last time I drove by the location on North Reserve, their sign boasted “Moms get 10 free wings on Mother's Day!” That's when I turned to my 8 year old in the back seat, nodded toward the sign and said “if you & dad take me to Hooters for Mother's Day, you're dead meat.”

  • 4

    The Oxford Cafe

    Although a fun place for people watching any time of the day, Mom's Day is probably not the time to find out if Hobo Larry and Toothless Tom will be having a rematch this afternoon. They do have a full menu and full bar, but let's go ahead and save this one for Father's Day.

  • 3

    Maggotfest

    And I'm not talking about the rugby matches at Fort Missoula, I'm referring to the muddy, wet bottomless beer pit at the llama barn at the fairgrounds. On this one I guess it depends on the mom. If the woman who raised you loves young, hot, easy men and isn't easily offended, this just may be the party for her. And I know some moms must attend because a former employee of The Blaze, and a dear friend of mine, reported making out with an older mom at Maggotfest just a couple of years ago.

  • 2

    No Where

    The stay at home BBQ seems like a perfect way to let mom relax with the other moms while the dads get their cook on, the only downfall is that you know damn well who will get stuck with the post feast clean up. A good alternative is crashing someone else's barbecue.

  • 1

    Fred's Lounge

    Again, don't get me wrong, I adore the girls at Fred's, just not on Mother's Day. Making it rain on a woman who you know damn well should be at home wearing a brand new macaroni necklace & eating Mother's Day cake, is the ultimate buzz kill. And although you could technically feed mom with one of Fred's world famous "Big Ass Pretzels" or free popcorn, let's also save this one for Dad's Day.