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6 Things I Want For My Birthday

It's my birthday. Here's what I want.

Courtesy, Da Capo Press
Courtesy, Da Capo Press

A telephone call from Dave Grohl.


I've imagined this one a trillion times. And every time I begin the conversation by asking Dave 4 questions to prove that it's really him, although his voice is quite unique so I'd know it was him either way. But what if some jerk got an awesome impressionist to call me? So that's why the proof questions. Anyway, in my insane fantasies the call doesn't go well because after the proof questions, Dave is out of time and must hang up. Even if it did go down that way, I'd still be SO super stoked that he called. This Is A Call indeed.

Nightstand Beer & Liquor Fridge


Ice cold Jäger & Bud Light tallboys without even getting out of bed? Sign THIS thirsty girl UP!

Medieval Hand Blades


I get off on grand entrances and grand exits, even if I'm not the one doing them. How effing awesome would it be to kick open the bar door and strut in with this s**t on?! I know, right!



Why wouldn't I?

Getty Images
Getty Images

Satellite Radio


In the car, in the home and portable. All hail Alt Nation.

Fetus Soap


I'm moving into a new home soon and I loathe visitors. So I figure if a guest enters my shower and sees that the soap is full of baby fetus, they'll never, ever stay over again.


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