Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
Naked Painting of Bea Arthur Selling for $2 Million
Maybe 'Airheads' is your favorite movie. Maybe you really loved 'Maude' and 'The Golden Girls.' Or maybe you just love oil paintings of nude older ladies. If any of these are true, and you've got at least $2 million to spare, this painting of Bea Arthur (note: she didn't actually pose for the painting) by artist John Currin is up for auction.
It's expected to go for $1.8-$2.5 million bucks. Here's
Man Animates Drunk Wife’s Ridiculous Joke
We wish somebody would follow us around and animate our drunken brilliance. Although, to be fair, arguing over the lyrics to a Go-Go's song is not nearly as entertaining as this joke, told by Adam Patch's wife after she drank an entire bottle of wine.
Postman Teaches Kid a Lesson He Won’t Forget
We're not sure if this is the best or worst postman in the world. On the one hand, he really makes sure that mail gets delivered. On the other hand, now a toddler is crying. You know what? We're going to go with best postman in the world, because this GIF exists thanks to him.
15 Oddly Eerie Photos of Boston as a Ghost Town
Boston is currently on lockdown as police continue the manhunt for Dzhokar A. Tsarnaev, the 19-year-old suspect in the Boston Marathon bombing investigation. No people out and about makes for a pretty eerie scene in the town. Here are 15 pictures taken by people and uploaded to Twitter and Instagram to give you an idea of how Boston looks right now. It's pretty bananas. Have a look.
Man Buys Poodles, Discovers They’re Actually Ferrets on Steroids
This is not a joke. A man at the largest outdoor bazaar in Buenos Aires bought two toy poodles from a vendor for $150 each. Only he didn't actually buy two poodles. He actually bought two ferrets that were hopped up on steroids and given fancy hairdos so they would look like poodles.
Dad Pulls Off Best April Fool’s Prank of 2013
This is the kind of prank we like. Nobody gets hurt, and it didn't happen to us.
Funny or Die KickStarts ’90s Shows for April Fool’s Day
Inspired by the success of the recent 'Veronica Mars' movie campaign, Funny or Die has started numerous Kickstarters to bring back all your favorite old shows because "people love stuff from the '90s. The only problem is...April Fool's! It's not real.
Porn Stars Before and After Makeup Will Blow Your Mind
First of all, we would like to apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you in your ... personal time. But we think these photos of porn stars with and without makeup are worth sharing. Totally SFW, they just might blow your mind. The photos come from a professional makeup artist who shares them via Instagram at xmelissamakeupx. You can find more here (although some are slightly NSFW).
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Russell Crowe Thinks He Spotted a UFO
If you're not one of Russell Crowe's 825,000 followers on Twitter, maybe you should be. That way you can see a real-time play-by-play of how this whole UFO spotted outside of his office thing plays out.
Humans Yelling Like Goats Yelling Like Humans Is a Thing Now
It's official -- goats yelling like humans has gone beyond just a viral video meme. Here is Los Angeles comedy troupe Olde Payphone yelling like goats yelling like humans.
Watch Seth MacFarlane’s 2013 Oscars Opening Monologue
Here it is. The bit that puts Seth MacFarlane either on a course to success or so many hours of suck. William Shatner seemed like an ... odd choice, but maybe it's a sign that this is just the beginning of a four-hour episode of 'Family Guy.'
YouTube Hair Tutorial Goes Terribly Wrong
Hopefully anybody who's tempted to watch this for actual advice watches all the way through first, rather than just follow along.