Barrett’s Wrestling World: WWE Night of Champions Preview
One of the great things about being employed: having the money (barely) to blow on three-hour pay-per-views full of fake fighting.
I can’t think of anything better. No, not even hookers.
This Sunday’s show should be quite the event, as “The Game” – and WWE Chief Operating Officer – Triple H (pictured left in all his overly-corporate glory) will return to the ring after working only one match in the last year. Granted, that match was an absolute epic against The Undertaker at WrestleMania 27. Still, it will be interesting to see The Cerebral Assassin step through the ropes to take on the guy who has taken the wrestling world by storm over the last few months, C.M. Punk.
In addition to that match, it’s Night of Champions: every championship in WWE will be on the line, and the outcomes should shape some very interesting story lines over the next few months. Let’s run down the card and look at each match and my level of excitement for it.
WWE DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP: Kelly Kelly (C) vs. Beth Phoenix:
No one doubts that the WWE Divas work and train as hard as the men, and they put it all out there to entertain the WWE Universe. However, my DVR somehow automatically fast-forwards through all Divas matches not involving Kharma. This will be the “bathroom break” match between the WWE Championship match and the Punk/HHH slugfest. This is where I crumple up my spent pizza boxes. Barrett’s Excitement: The crappy “prize” inside a very good box of cereal.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne (C) vs. The Miz and R-Truth
I’m really, really enjoying the team of Kingston and Bourne, now glossing themselves as “Air Boom.” I’ve been an Evan Bourne mark for quite some time, and Kofi always works a spectacular match. Air Boom, the babyfaced good guys in this match, are fun to watch, but The Miz is one of the most entertaining stars in the business, and R-Truth’s heel persona has really grown on me. I would love to see what Miz and Truth do after winning the titles, as it will assuredly mean more mic time for two of the best talkers on the WWE roster. Should be a solid in-ring performance from these guys, too. Barrett’s Excitement: Woot.
WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: Dolph Ziggler (C) vs. Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison (Fatal 4-Way Match)
Not sold on this match, but I’m also not sure why. Dolph Ziggler isn’t quite getting the heel heat he needs, but is a solid in-ring performer. Alex Riley, on the other hand, is just THIS close to getting over with the WWE Universe (due in large part to the fact that he has the greatest entrance music in WWE right now). Jo-Mo should really be in the WWE Championship hunt, and not the U.S. Championship, but if putting the U.S. belt on him gets him closer to main event status, I hope that’s where they go with this. Jack Swagger could read The Great Gatsby in lispy monotone and be more exciting to me than he is to watch in the ring. Barrett’s Excitement: I’ll watch in the corner of my eye while surveying the empty beer bottles.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Randy Orton (C) vs. Mark Henry
I can honestly say that I have never once been excited for a Mark Henry match, until now. Mark Henry has genuinely gotten over in these last few months as a guy that will eat a corn dog, kill you with the stick without remorse or restraint, then take a giant swig of peanut butter. However, WWE absolutely refuses to have Randy Orton lose clean, as there’s always some interference, stipulation, or other inconceivable occurrence that allows Orton to maintain near-invincibility. Orton is the new “Super Cena,” and it sucks. If Mark Henry is to really get over as a main-event guy, he needs to win this match, and win clean. I hope that happens. Barrett’s Excitement: “Somebody’s gonna get they ass kicked/wig split!”
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Alberto del Rio (C) vs. John Cena
Cena is the absolute biggest star in WWE, and I’m hard-pressed to figure out why. Cena’s in-ring work is boring and predictable. He’s great on the mic, but his milquetoast persona doesn’t make this match must-see. The fact that Alberto del Rio is the WWE Champion seems to have escaped the WWE writers, as he has been the most underutilized champion in recent memory. He was better when he was chasing the title. Winning the title shot at Money In The Bank gave him traction as a top heel, but he sort of fizzled out as his WWE Championship reign started. I should care about this match a lot more than I do, as it’s for the top prize in WWE. Alas, I just don’t care. Barrett’s Excitement: Unfortunately, I CAN see you.
TRIPLE H vs. C.M. PUNK (No Disqualification Match)
This match is the reason I’m buying WWE Night of Champions. Period. C.M. Punk has proven to be just the guy to turn the wrestling world on it’s ear and make things interesting again. I love when the line is blurred between theater and reality, and these two have done it better than anyone over the last few months. They’re also two of the best in the world when it comes to working in the ring. However, there’s this big oaf-like shadow named Kevin Nash who, I believe, will somehow get involved in all of this and ruin a good pay-per-view. Sure, he was “released,” but if you ask me, I believe that to be a total work, and I don’t like it. Kevin Nash stinks. Here’s to hoping he stays out of this match between two legends who are actually entertaining/healthy. Barrett’s Excitement: If “Just For Men” gets blacked out, this should be one of the best matches of the year. Easily.