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Brooklyn Wants To Ban Hooters — No, The Restaurant Chain

Marc Stamas, Getty Images

There are more than four hundred and sixty Hooters spread out all over the United States. This suggests that a love of cheap beer and wings served by busty young women is an important part of our national character. And yes, this makes us proud to be an American.

However, the hipsters living in the Prospect Heights and Park Slope section of Brooklyn, New York don’t share this unifying pride. Instead of counting down the days until a Hooters was to open a franchise in their neighborhood, they started putting pressure on landlords not to rent to the venerable chain.

“It’s a disgusting national chain with bad beer and bad food,” a killjoy named Lee Saife told the New York Daily News.

“Trash traffic” was what Brooklyn resident Phoebe McGraw called it. She was probably cheering for Drago during ‘Rocky IV’ too. Pure speculation on that part. “From here they’ll go to strip joints,” she added. If only it were that simple, Phoebe. Ok, it actually is, but bad buffalo wings don’t lead to strip club visits. Half-naked women fake-flirting for bigger tips leads to strip club visits because, if a woman is going to fake-flirt with us, she might as well be naked.

Possibly because of the protest, which is manifesting itself on social media, Hooters has yet to find a large enough space to rent in Brooklyn.

The chain planned to move into the borough to coincide with the New Jersey Nets’ relocation there for the 2012/2013 NBA season. Without a Hooters, Brooklynites will now have no place to hang out before and after depressing Nets games.

Oh well, guess it’s straight to the strip club. You coming Phoebe?

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