Mother's Day is coming next Sunday. You are running out of time to get mom something "nice." Take my advice, don't just buy mom a frying pan. From my experience, she will not take it as saying "I love you mom," and more as a "get your ass in the kitchen." I scoured the internet and found my 3 favorite gifts that you need to get mom this year.

1) Baby Mop Onsie

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Mom can rest easy knowing that the kids are pulling their weight with the house chores. The Baby Mop Onsie allows the little one to take care of the hardwood floors, a while wearing themselves out for nap time.

$50

According to Dude I Want That

The baby mop onesie is lined with ultra-absorbent mop microfibers and is available in 3 sizes: 3 to 6 months; 6 to 9 months; and 9 to 12 months. Vendor Firebox.com notes that they in no way encourage or support child labor, so I guess I'll have to encourage and support it enough for the both of us.

2) Hibermate Sleeping Earmuffs

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If it one thing I know a parent wants, that is complete silence. For Mom this year, you can give her the gift of quiet with the Hibernate Sleeping Earmuffs.

$60

According to Dude I Want That features include

  • Complete light blockage, no inward seepage at the cracks. Seems like there's a Batman and Robin joke in there somewhere....
  • Significant noise blockage. Hibermate's ear cups are made of medical-grade silicone, and have been rated safe for use in environments up to 90dB, or about the level of truck traffic. [December 2013 Update: New information from Hibermate notes that ear cups will likely have an NRR rating between 12 and 15 dB, and will reduce incoming noises by about 40% to 50%. They are not as effective as earplugs or industrial ear muffs.]
  • Recessed eye areas, so users can open them if needed. Like, if the pitch blackness created by closed eyelids isn't convincing enough. The indentations in the mask also remove any potential pressure against the eyes while sleeping, which Hibermate says is beneficial for uninterrupted REM sleep.
  • Satin outer cover that is frictionless against pillows so the mask won't move or slide off.
  • Fully adjustable front straps.
  • Always ready to sub in when the beer goggles wear off.

3) Circumcision Trainer

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With moms these days, it is all about saving money. That is why the perfect gift for an expecting mother is a circumcision trainer. When it comes to getting sharp objects near your sons "tally wacker," you better pray mom has practiced.

$186 ($2000 savings)

According to Dude I Want That

The Infant Circumcision Trainer's teachings are intended for use on infants only. While Messer is considering making an Adult Circumcision Trainer in the future, he stresses that the process does not translate from newborns to anyone over the age of 3 without heavy blood loss, probable sterility, and possible inadvertent appendage amputation.

 

 

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