FOOZOOLA: Day Of Show Checklist
Every concert has a certain amount of preperation in order to make your Rock Experience reach its full potential. After many good experiences at shows and a handfull of bad ones, I have compiled a simple checklist to help you Blazers ensure your FooZoola experience is EPIC!
1) Wash your Drawers (a.k.a Undies, Pantaloons, Skivies, Panties, Jockeys) – You think you can make it another few hours with the one you have been wearing for anywhere from a day to a week, but just wait until you find yourself breaking a sweat amongst the crowd. Next thing you know everyone around you gets the “Who Farted?” look on their faces.
2) Scrub your Butt– Dont be that stinky person at the show. When the show starts heating up, your stank can gag a maggot.
3) Wardrobe– You should have picked up on the “Golden Rule” by now. DO NOT WEAR THE SHIRT OF THE BAND YOU ARE GOING TO SEE. Its like having a big neon sign thats says “Douche” above your head. Also, make sure the shirt you do pick doesn’t smell like a combo of foot/ass. *see above*
4) Pre Funk– A crucial part to any concert experience. Pick a bar that serves some kind of food. I always seem to make the mistake of not eating before a show, and next thing I know I’m a puddle and the opening acts haven’t even got off stage yet. Grab a bunch of good friends, line up some shot,s and try to tie a decent enough buzz on before the show.
5) Don’t be late– Don’t be affraid to stand in line waiting for the doors to open. Thats where the real party starts. About 50% of the time I find myself too busy telling some B.S. story to an old homeless guy at the bar during the pre- funk to realize I’m missing the opening acts. Some people say “Oh, it’s okay, I didn’t want to see the openers anyway”. Even if you have never heard of the opening acts doesnt mean you are not going to like them. You paid for the ticket, you might as well get your moneys worth. Besides, if you somehow miss Motorhead you deserve to get kicked in the “mommy/daddy button”
6) Take a Whiz before the Headliner– If you show up early to get up against the gate in the front row and don’t wanna take the chance of not being able to get your spot back, two words: Adult Diapers. Its Extreme, but can come in handy in certain situations like the F&%KNG FOO FIGHTERS show.
7) Drink Responsibly– Pack a flask if you need to, but pace yourself fool…Do not get so butt-faced before the show that you can’t remember it afterward.
8) Leave some room for the afterparty– Somebody, somewhere needs to hear the details on how much fun you had and how stupid they were for not buying a ticket…whether they want to or not.
Just some simple tips to make your FOOZOOLA experience reach its full potential. HAVE FUN MISSOULA!