Men’s Health declared Jennifer Aniston the ‘hottest woman of all time’ in a recent article that no one in the world should care about except it’s the end of the year and people love ‘lists’ and ‘declarations’ of things there is no possible way of ever proving or disproving.

This isn’t to detract from Jennifer Aniston’s looks or charms. It’s not that she is horrible or even unpleasing to look at but the hottest woman of all time? How is that calculated and measured? Internet searches + bikini/naked photo availability x frequency of masturbatory fantasies = hottest woman ever?

Just scrolling through the offensively long slideshow it’s pretty obvious it was compiled by throwing darts at a wall full of photos. Not to mention the injustices like Christina Hendricks at 87, Jessica Alba at 54, and Paris Hilton making the list, let alone breaking the Top 50.

What’s worse of all is Men’s Health’s justification for Aniston scoring the top spot:

Funny is sexy, and Jennifer Aniston is funny—she was invited to join Saturday Night Live before her big break with Friends. Her down-to-earth persona makes her seem attainable, and anyone who’s seen her in Office Space has to admit she makes even pieces of flair look good. She rarely plays the airhead, and she seldom overplays a role: she’s funny in a quiet, refreshingly human way. And her all-too-human love life off screen inspires sympathy that not even a string of bland romantic comedies can diminish. Other sex symbols drift toward one-dimensionality, becoming flat icons in the process, but throughout her career Aniston has remained sexy, funny, and unmistakably real.

That’s an awesome Match.com profile but what do they have to say about Jennifer Aniston? Oh that was about Jennifer Aniston? We skipped over most of it and checked her religion and the number of kids she wants. (WE BOTH SAID SIX! EEKK! SOULMATES!)

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