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Titanic: Make A Bad Movie Better

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There has been a lot of talk about the new 3D Titanic movie, and I feel for those of you who’s girlfriends are conning you into making a date night out of it.  If you have seen this movie before and agree that it is a waste of three and a half hours, I doubt 3D is going to make much an improvement. I now present you with my personal “Two Titanic Survival Tips for Unwilling Viewers.”

Dumb Quotes: This movie is teeming with lame quotes.  For example:

“I’m king of the world!”  Every time I heard someone say this after the  original release of the movie, I had the sudden urge to kick someone in the shin.

“I’ll never let go”  Yeah you will, and ya did.

“The water is freezing!”  No S*** Sherlock! Your boat just hit a gigantic ice cube!

To top my list of dumb quotes, this one had me laughing in the theater during the preview (gotta throw your minds in the gutter for this)-  “When this boat  docks, I’m getting off with you.”…then I had Halestorm stuck in my head.

To keep you busy during the show, anytime they same something stupid… take a shot…. make up your own stipulations though so ya don’t  get too messed up… maybe shot for stupid quote reset every 1/2 hour?

Jack and Rose Game: A friend and I had to sit through this movie AFTER already seeing it once… so we decided that it would be fun to take a shot of Jack every time Rose said “Jack” and every time Jack said “Rose”… a shot of Tequila Rose.  First one to give up loses, projectile vomit is an automatic dis qualifier.  Needless to say, our game didn’t last very long.  I wouldn’t attempt this one…. to avoid alcohol poisoning, be smart and just take a sip of beer.

Have fun!

 

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