Titanic: Make A Bad Movie Better
There has been a lot of talk about the new 3D Titanic movie, and I feel for those of you who’s girlfriends are conning you into making a date night out of it. If you have seen this movie before and agree that it is a waste of three and a half hours, I doubt 3D is going to make much an improvement. I now present you with my personal “Two Titanic Survival Tips for Unwilling Viewers.”
Dumb Quotes: This movie is teeming with lame quotes. For example:
“I’m king of the world!” Every time I heard someone say this after the original release of the movie, I had the sudden urge to kick someone in the shin.
“I’ll never let go” Yeah you will, and ya did.
“The water is freezing!” No S*** Sherlock! Your boat just hit a gigantic ice cube!
To top my list of dumb quotes, this one had me laughing in the theater during the preview (gotta throw your minds in the gutter for this)- “When this boat docks, I’m getting off with you.”…then I had Halestorm stuck in my head.
To keep you busy during the show, anytime they same something stupid… take a shot…. make up your own stipulations though so ya don’t get too messed up… maybe shot for stupid quote reset every 1/2 hour?
Jack and Rose Game: A friend and I had to sit through this movie AFTER already seeing it once… so we decided that it would be fun to take a shot of Jack every time Rose said “Jack” and every time Jack said “Rose”… a shot of Tequila Rose. First one to give up loses, projectile vomit is an automatic dis qualifier. Needless to say, our game didn’t last very long. I wouldn’t attempt this one…. to avoid alcohol poisoning, be smart and just take a sip of beer.