What’s the Story Morning Glory
Forgive the Oasis-inspired title, but I imagine it’s the first time in 15 years Oasis has inspired anything . . . so let them have their moment.
Actually, this post was inspired by a story in The New York Times. Evidently a company, planning on relocating to a town in Utah, didn’t like the idea of moving to Morning Glory Road due to its “sexual connotation.” Because cities live in mortal fear of upsetting any business and are perfectly willing to do anything to attract new business, the town renamed the street to Morning Vista Road.
I had no idea Morning Glory was sexual at all. The Urban Dictionary tells us different. Morning Glory has many definitions, one of which is:
To awaken with a boner so hard a cat couldn’t scratch it , otherwise known as to sleep in a tent, or to have a dawn horn.
Morning Glory is also, evidently, a type of LSD.
The truly amazing thing is that the street’s new name (Morning Vista) is kind of dirty, too, according to the Urban Dictionary’s two definitions for the term:
Exposing your Morning Glory “morning wood” to your significant other upon waking.
or . . .
After having unprotected sex, when you try to take a piss, but it goes everywhere and you have to clean the bathroom.
My wife and I are sitting here debating why the protected vs. unprotected aspect of hot lovin would compel a rough trip to the can. I honestly have no idea. But I might move to Utah and live on this street.