Wherever Reverend Brian May Roam – Fargo

I provide this post as a public service. I realize that Fargo's reputation is sketchy for numerous reasons: the movie, the flatness, and if you watch any 24-hour news outlet in spring, odds are better than average the city is almost underwater.

(Sidenote: I was working at a local radio station one spring when the floods were really bad... the water was literally inches from spilling over the dikes and teaching us all how to swim.)

As I said, this is a public service post. Should you find yourself in this fairytale 'you betcha!' land of hotdish and Lutheranism, here are a few things to occupy your time:

1) Naked people at the Northern Gentleman's Club - Killing time at the nudie bar is universal...and there's a fun bar downstairs called The Bomb Shelter. If the end of the world does arrive while you're in Fargo, this is the place to hunker down...

2) College Sports - Fargo is home to North Dakota State University, so take in a game. Football is a big deal there, much like it is in Missoula (though, for all the NoDakian "we're bad asses in the cold" talk, you might take heart knowing their football team plays in a dome.) Besides, North Dakota State hates (recent Big Sky Conference addition) the University of North Dakota. My enemy's enemy is my friend.

3) Hipster Watching - Fargo's "local flavor" is lacking relative to Missoula, but it's getting better. If macro-brewed beer and Jager shots just won't do, check out the Hotel Donaldson downtown. You'll find a nice craft beer selection, and martinis so tasty you forget you're drinking booze. AND if you're in Fargo during late spring or summer (all seven weeks of it), the HoDo has a nice rooftop bar. You're only four or five stories up, but you can almost see Billings because there is one thing (state capital in Bismarck) taller than 30 feet between the two cities.

4) Blue-collar Bars - If you're wanting a true blue-collar experience, I'd suggest either the Bismarck or the Empire... both are downtown, and an easy walk from the nudie bar. Both bars are so blue-collar they don't even have websites. Both sit right next to the train tracks...and close to the Catholic church should you need confession afterward.

Fargo folk are pretty friendly. The first day I arrived there, on my way to take the photo above, actually, a drunk guy stumbled up to me and exclaimed "if ya go around the corner you can get a beer and a taco for a buck!" And, yes, he sounded just like the movie....