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Tell Your Girlfriend You Were Right, Whiskey Helps You See Things Clearly

Whiskey
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Aside from waking up next to some wild beast with chronic halitosis and a wooden leg, one of the most horrifying experiences a man can possibly have after a blackout rendezvous with a bottle of grain alcohol is blindness.

We’re not speaking in metaphor, here — we’re talking about real, holy-crap-i-can’t-see-anything blindness. That’s some scary stuff.

Never fear, though; if this happens to you, a bottle of whiskey just may be the cure — it worked for 65-year-old Denis Duthie.

Earlier last week, Duthie lost his eyesight after mixing his diabetes medication with a staggeringly large amount of vodka. “I thought it had got dark and I’d missed out on a bit of time, but it was only about half-past-three in the afternoon. I was fumbling around the bedroom for the light switch but … I’d just gone completely blind.”

Duthie thought he would just sleep it off, but when he woke up the next morning, everything was still black. That is when his wife took him to a local hospital. Interestingly, doctors thought he was suffering from formaldehyde poisoning, which is commonly associated from drinking methanol. To treat his supposed condition, they administered a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label into Duthie’s stomach.

“I woke up five days later and I could see as soon as I could open my eyes,” said Duthie.

Doctors say that methanol poisoning can be caused from drinking booze that is not made using the standard process. Incidentally, the effects can be counteracted with ethanol, which is why straight whiskey was the medicine of choice when it came to treating Mr. Duthie.

Still, while one might think being laid up in a hospital for five days on a whiskey drunk sounds like one heck of a vacation, Duthie has reportedly been booze free since leaving the hospital. Yeah, that’s what we thought… light weight.

Next: If You're Still Thirsty After That, This Grenade Decanter Might Be Your Style

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