A guy went to a Chinese hospital complaining of stomach pains and said he had no idea what was wrong with him. Just a wild guess, but it could be the bottle up his rump.

The adventurous man confessed to shoving the bottle deep inside his bottom after x-rays showed it lodged so far in that surgery would be the only way to remove it. To further complicate things, there was also a wire jammed up there from a failed attempt to fish out the bottle.

OK, let's stop right there.

First, picture this in your mind: Chinese guy, home alone, clown porn going on his laptop, he looks around for anything to pleasure his hindquarters and comes up with an empty beer bottle. Now picture the best part where he decides that the way to get it out is to shove more things up there.

Second, lesson learned: A wire is not a good remedy for bottle jammed in ass.

There are so many better things to ram in one's seat. In fact, a doctor in the story fondly recalls a time when his patient had a mustard bottle stuck in his back side.