Dave Portnoy Hits Piehole Pizza for a One-Bite Review

If you thought Missoula was poised to go viral for something other than homeless people and football jerseys, prepare yourself. Dave Portnoy of Barstool Sports finally made a stop at Piehole Pizza.

And before you hustle down Higgins to line up with your phone out… hold your horses. He didn’t review our Piehole. He did Piehole in Salt Lake City. (but still accurate)

“You Gotta Be Drunk for Piehole”

In the review, Portnoy provided the classic one-bite analysis and wasted no time setting the tone: this isn’t white tablecloth pizza. He explicitly described Piehole as “a drunk pizza spot.”

“This is a slice place. Open late. When you walk in “you feel like you’re in a rave zone,” he said. “If you’re staying open late, you're not great. You do have to be drunk for Piehole.”

But then he slapped a 3.8 out of 10 on the Salt Lake slice.  Brutal, but let’s be honest, sort of on brand for a spot that delivers its best stuff to people who can hardly see straight.

Piehole in Missoula Montana Is Pretty Much a Nightlife Institution

Let’s be real. You go at 2 a.m. after BINGO/karaoke night and one too many pitchers at the Rhino. Piehole is in the late-night DNA of this town.

It’s where you head for that floppy, ploppy, life-not-ruining slice when your equilibrium is screwed and so is your judgment. Dave Portnoy may not have put our Piehole up for review yet, but if he ever does, he will feel like he never left home — surrounded by college kids, blaring music, and the smell of regret meets pepperoni.

If He Ever Comes North…

The Salt Lake City location may have had to take one for the team, but Missoula’s Piehole has character. And when, and if, Portnoy ever makes it up here, dude’s going to see how we handle things Big Sky style.

In the meantime, we’ll just revert back to doing what we always do...Eating Piehole like the pros at 2 am and scoffing at the thought of a 3.8 score from El Presidente.