For this blog I went straight to the source, I asked my wonderful husband what he thought would be a terrible gift to get for Father’s Day and below are the answers he gave. It is only fair to note that my husband is an outdoorsman and has not a metrosexual bone in his body. He is much more comfortable living in the woods off the land for two weeks than staying at a five star resort for two weeks. If your man is anything like mine, then this list will be of great use to you.

Tie – Considering the fact that I have never in all the years I’ve known my husband seen him wear a tie (not even on our wedding day), I’m not surprised that this would be on his list. This seems to be the classic Father’s Day gift that no father seems to want.

Banana hammock – For those of you who don’t know what this is, it is bikini underwear. Women love bikini panties, but men don’t. I’m certain that most men would rather go commando than have to slip into a pair of skimpy bikini briefs.

Brazilian bikini wax – My husband is a man who can tolerate great pain, but not this kind of pain, and not in that general region. This only proves the point that women have a much higher pain tolerance than men, as most women are the ones who receive this particular hair removal method.

Mall shopping spree – My best friend and I would love a shopping spree to the mall. We would wallow in the scents of Bath & Body Works, spend countless hours trying on clothes at our favorite clothing stores and we wouldn’t be able to resist an hour or two a Victoria’s Secret. Now picture a man frolicking through the mall with his best friend doing all the same things. You can’t… or you can and it’s hilarious. Either way, that pretty much explains why my husband would hate this for a gift.

Long talk about his feelings – Being a true manly man, my husband is not big on words, at least not words that describe his feelings. However, if he could just sit for hours telling hunting and fishing stories to a group of guys, then that would be a great gift.

Joy Larson is a mother of four boys, graduate of the University of Montana, animal lover and writer.