Montana’s Girl Scout Cookie Season Comes With a Warning

You know it’s springtime in Montana when you walk into a grocery store and immediately make eye contact with a Girl Scout forcefully trying to sell you a box of Thin Mints. And really, we are living for it. But this year’s cookie season comes with a twist, and no, not a new flavor. It’s a health scare.

According to a recent report, consumer watchdogs discovered trace amounts of heavy metals and glyphosate (a common herbicide) in Girl Scout Cookies. Yes, that means your favorite Samoas, too. Don’t set your pantry on fire just yet; let’s unpack this.

Investigators examined cookies from three different states and detected lead, cadmium and even trace quantities of arsenic. Thin Mints had the highest levels of glyphosate, while Peanut Butter Patties had the highest levels of metals. The experts say you’d have to eat thousands of cookies a day for it to even potentially be a real danger.

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One doctor said a child would need to eat 9,000 cookies a day to reach dangerous glyphosate levels. If your kid’s doing that, toxins are the least of your worries. That’s a Netflix documentary in the making.

The Girl Scouts of the USA responded that their bakers adhere to all of the FDA food safety guidelines and that these trace amounts are found in many foods, given how crops are grown. Translation: Chill out, Montana. Unless you are like me and up for the challenge of eating 9,000 cookies in the name of science.

So, should you forgo this year’s cookie haul? NO! Purchase the cookies, patronize the kids, and wash ’em down with a glass of milk just for balance.