Secret Service Mistakes Deer Stand for a Threat

Only in America is a deer stand deemed suspicious by the Secret Service. Agents earlier this week discovered what they described as a “suspicious structure” near an airport in Florida that Donald Trump frequently uses. Adter going on on full alert, they did some investigating and discovered it was an old deer stand.

Not exactly breaking news for hunters. It’s not a bunker, it’s not a drone nest, it is just where you sit for hours on end eating Little Debbie otameal cookies. But when it’s a couple hundred yards from the runway used by Air Force One...Well, then things get more complicated.

You are probably asking yourself, "Why would anyone hunt near the airport?" When it comes to public land, you have to take what you can get. Public land is sprinkled all over the map. Not to mention high security places ocassionally allow hunting. Take the annual elk hunts that take place on the grounds of the Montana State Prison in Deer Lodge.

I Hung a Couple of Stands and I’m Feeling It

I’m not gonna lie, seeing that headline this morning hit different. My legs are crying today after hanging a couple tree stands last night. If you’ve ever climbed a tree with a stand on your back, straps in your teeth and a squirrel chriping in your ear, you know it’s not all that glamorous.

This is no “lean it up and call it good” job. You have to get it strapped in, level and not slip on the way down. That takes, time, sweat and a few choice words too spicy for your grandma’s ears.

Security Is Serious, but So Is Deer Hunting

In all fairness, with everything that has gone down of late (not only to the assassination attempt on Trump but also to the Charlie Kirk assaination, you can’t blame the Secret Service for being jumpy. They look up in a tree and what they see is a wooden platform, they don’t think “trophy whitetail.” They’re thinking “security risk.”

But here’s the true question for you Montana hunters out there… how would it sit with you if the Secret Service showed up at your door and said dismantle your favorite deer stand?

I know one thing. They’re going to have to bring more Little Debbie's, a ladder and a couple ibuprofen after all that work of hanging it.