Yellowstone Unhinged: AI Bison Vlog Roasts Tourons

Yellowstone’s latest influencer isn’t some ring-light-wielding video star. Nope. He’s a bison. And he’s fed up.

A TikTok from @fondled.by.nature offers a hilarious glimpse into what is obviously the internal monologue of a Yellowstone bison who’s forced to deal with, you guessed it, tourons. That perfect combo of tourist and moron who walks up to a wild animal like it’s a golden retriever on vacation.

Read More: Tourists Leave Reviews Of Yellowstone National Park

This bison comes stomping through a field, growling things like, “Back up, Becky,” and “You smell like sunscreen and bad decisions.” Honestly? Iconic.

Why Do Tourons Keep Doing This?

It’s the same circus every summer. Somebody's uncle hops out of the rental van, spots a bison, and decides it’s selfie time. Next thing you know, he’s getting yeeted across a thermal basin while the whole family screams and the bison’s like, “Don’t start none, won’t be none.”

We post warning signs. Rangers yell. Local news runs weekly PSAs. But the tourons? They see a bison and go, “Let’s get closer.”

And Now, the Bison Are Talking Back

Now that AI is speaking for Yellowstone’s bison, the message might actually be getting through: stay in your Subaru. You’re not on safari. And if the bison is eyeballing you from the side, you’re already too close.

Sure, this AI bison vlog is a parody. But it’s also the truth. And it’s way funnier coming from the bison’s mouth. He’s crusty. He’s covered in flies. And he’s done with your Instagram drama.

Next up, I want AI elk doing dramatic reenactments of rut season. Or a grizzly running a cooking show: “Today we’re making trout surprise linguine.”