Contact Us

Underwear-Masked Burglar Hit In Head With Metal Bat [FBHW]

Horatioa Coates

Free Beer and Hot Wings listened to a 911 audio clip that involved bungling burglar Horatio Coates, the dazed-looking fellow in the image above. Why does he look like he was just hit in the head with a baseball bat you ask? Well, that’s because he was hit in the head with a baseball bat.

Earlier this week, Coates decided to rob DVDs from a Dollar General in Oklahoma City. Unfortunately for his head, Coates picked the wrong store. After bursting in while wearing a pair of underwear as a mask (because nothing intimidates someone like a pair of tighty-whiteys), Coates was struck in the head with an aluminum baseball bat by the store’s owner. The underwear likely provided little protection.

In the audio, you can hear the first blow result in a tinny “ping” sound, followed by a crazy, loud, guttural “EAUGGHWGH” from Coates. The guys could not get enough of the clip. “He sounds like an injured animal,” said Zane. “I don’t know how he made that sound,” Hot Wings added. The 911 audio continued, with the store manager, 911 dispatcher, and eventually the burglar all talking. How the burglar was even getting his brain to send signals to his mouth at this point was beyond comprehension.

Here’s a transcript:

911 Dispatcher: “Is he still laying there?”
Store Manager: “He is still laying here.”
Burglar: “I don’t know what the hell is going on.”
Store Manager: “He is saying he doesn’t know what is going on.”
Burglar: “Holy [expletive]! What the [expletive]! Oh… goodness.”

So, if you wanted to know what sound an aluminum baseball bat makes when hitting a man’s head, check out the video below. A warning though – while we think that a tiny ping, followed by a loud outburst make for a funny contrast of noises, some might find the audio a little tough to listen to.

Best of the Blaze

Recommended for You

Best of the Web

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for The Blaze Rock Mob quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive The Blaze Rock Mob contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.