Jackie Mancini

Q: What's the best thing about being Rob Zombie? A: Sherri Moon Zombie.

In celebration of the destruction of the Defense of Marriage Act this past Wednesday, next weeks's cover of The New Yorker will feature an illustration by Jack Hunter depicting 'Sesame Street' residents and best friends Bert and Ernie, cuddling on the couch and watching the news.

#DATVIDEO.

"Don't worry sugartush, there is someone for everyone." -- Excerpt from an email our mom sent us today.

Playboy's Miss April, Jaslyn Ome, is a 21-year-old East Indian, black and Caucasian babe. A California girl through and through, she loves all things ocean, and spends as much time as she can in the waves.

While I don't pretend to have all the answers about how to nab a beautiful babe, this guy seems to have a pretty good strategy.

MJ's last name is pronounced like our favorite beer, Guinness; she might just be our favorite babe this week.

As if we weren't already jealous of Rick Champagne for having the smoothest last name of all time, he is now the proud owner of our childhood dream car. Way to go, Rick; you've officially got it all. Super happy for you. Really.

Esquire interviewed babe Megan Fox this week, and we learned a whole lot more about her. Not only is she crazy beautiful, but she's also possibly just plain crazy.

While our weekend COD and pizza binges are always a good time, it's also nice to have interactions with other humans sometimes. At least that's what we've heard. If you love video games and aren't paralyzingly agoraphobic, arcades are a good time. Sadly, we lose more of them every day, but this one in Colorado is alive and well, and worth the trip.

If there's one thing in this crazy world we can count on, it's that The Onion will always be hilarious.

As we all know, drinking makes you temporarily smarter and much more clever. When sauced up, one is typically prone to acts of prolific research, groundbreaking scientific innovations, and intense spiritual discovery. That's why this South Carolina man's very different reaction to intoxication has us completely stumped.