Darby Montana Wants You To Turn In Your Ex This Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about romance, love, and pretending you didn’t forget to make a dinner reservation.

But in Darby, Montana, it’s apparently about something else as well.

Justice.

The Town of Darby Marshal’s Office just uncorked what is quite possibly the most Bitterroot Valley Valentine’s Day special of all time. And it goes a little something like this:

• Got an ex with a warrant?
• Give Us A Call.

That’s it. That’s the deal.

A Valentine’s Day Special, Bitterroot Style

They’re asking people to call them if they have an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend who has an active warrant. According to the Darby Marshal Facebook page, yes, this means just about what you think it does. The Marshal’s Office says they will offer a “free ride” to the Ravalli County Detention Center, plus a free Valentine's Day meal, which is actually pretty hilarious because it sounds less like a police statement and more like an ad for a spa day.

You might want to plug this number into your phone (406) 821-3753.

Forget roses. Forget chocolate. Forget writing a heartfelt note. Darby is out here giving your ex the “Dinner and a Room” package, but with fewer scented candles and more concrete.

This Is How The Bitterroot Is Constructed Differently

You’ve got to admire the Bitterroot Valley’s dedication to efficiency. Some places mark Valentine’s Day with couples' dinners. Darby celebrates it with “turn in your ex” energy.

And hey, if you’ve ever dated in a small Montana town, you probably didn’t think this was that shocking anyway. That’s just the Bitterroot being the Bitterroot.