Montana Scores Low in the “Marry for Money” Olympics

A new survey from SplitUp, a divorce coaching app, looked at the number of people who marry just for money. And of all the 50 states, Montana came in nearly dead last, alongside Nebraska and Vermont. Meanwhile, the states where sugardaddyism seems to be a more acceptable form of behavior are Florida, California, Texas, New York, and New Jersey.  Places where marrying for money is less discouraged and more like a contact sport.

Big Wallets, Bigger Divorces

The SplitUp app studies patterns in relationships and reasons for divorce, and its most recent data reveals where the most people confess to having married for money. In Montana, that’s practically zero. Maybe it’s because we’re too busy working, or because our idea of “wealth” is a freezer full of elk meat, and not making an ass of yourself when someone asks you to back their boat trailer into the lake without wrecking the tailgate.

“Til Elk Season Do Us Part”

I’ve joked that I would marry a wealthy ranch widow if it meant my whole family could hunt on her land. But it turns out, not even that sort of gold-digging is taking place here. We might pursue mule deer, but we’re not pursuing dollar signs. In a land where people swipe for status, Montanans are still out here wiping cow crap off their boots.

Funny, But It Tracks

Maybe it’s the freezing winters or the small-town reality of knowing everyone, including your ex’s cousin. Whatever the reason, it seems that when Montanans say “for better or for worse,” we’re already embracing the thought of being broke. I guess we’re not gold diggers, more like gold panners praying for an inheritance from our rich Aunt.