Strange Things You May Hear While Floating a Montana River
The summer heat has got many Montana flocking to the area rivers to cool off. As water temperatures increase and water levels drop, a good old fashioned float on a tube is a popular Montana pastime.
If you are not familiar with a classic Montana river float, they don't always involve a raft or boat. On hot days, many local rivers become congested with hundreds on float tubes. Resembling what appears to be a giant rubber armada. As the tubers link together, to cut down on paddling, some interesting conversations can be had.
The following are some interesting things you may hear while on a classic Montana summer river float.
Did you really just rub fryer grease on your body?
(Sometimes a little lube prevents the tube from sticking to your skin, but grease might not be a good combination with hot summer sun. We recommend sun screen on both your body and the tube)
You aint cool unless you drink wine out of a bag.
(Having glass bottles or containers on the river is PROHIBITED. So many people resort to using the boxed wine bladders as a way to quench their thirst)
*Singing in Disney "Pocahontas" voice* It's just around the river bend
(Some floats can take hours, if not most of a day. Sometimes the last stretch of water feels like it takes a lifetime)
We have been drinking and floating all day, and no one has to pee?
(As gross as it may be. It is clear that many people use the river as a restroom while making the float.)
Float Tip: As a seasoned amateur float expert, I have found that as long as you are attached to, or nearby the beverage cooler, you will have to do minimal effort in paddling. But, with great power, comes great responsibility. It is you job to make sure you don't flip and lose the precious cargo.
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