Yellowstone Tourist Gets Felony Over Bathroom Tantrum

You know the drill if you’ve ever sat in Yellowstone traffic. Bison jam. Road work. Some guy in a rental car is stopping to take a picture of a pine cone. Yes, it’s annoying, but most of us suck it up, blast our music, drink our coffee and get through it like adults.

But not this guy.

David Regnier, 67, a tourist from Oregon, wasn’t about to let construction or federal law get in the way of a good potty break.

And this occurred last fall near Canyon Junction. Traffic was backed up. Dude had to be on a backed-up bladder, too. So he pulls into the wrong lane, on the wrong side of the road, into oncoming traffic, trying to pass the line as though he’s leading the presidential motorcade.

Park workers, literally standing there in high-vis vests waving stop signs, tried to wave him off. His response? He told ’em he had to pee. And when they ordered him to turn around, he hit the gas, driving into one of them.

Now, thank God, nobody got hurt. But the guy didn’t stop. Only to eventually get picked up by the cops.

His excuse? Something about a medical condition, new blood pressure meds, and that he allegedly peed himself anyway.

A federal jury didn’t buy it. They found him guilty of assault with a dangerous weapon, his car. That’s a felony. He now faces a maximum of 20 years in prison. For a bathroom tantrum.

Yellowstone’s a wild place. But if you’re being a jerk for jerks’ sake because you didn’t think to plan your rest stops, you can’t be surprised when the law hits harder than that BLADDER BUSTER soda you had.