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The Biggest Load of Crap You’ll Read All Day

this man does NOT listen to Jonas Brothers while exercising, and neither should you. photo: facebook/the world’s strongest man

The headline ain’t lyin folks! I’m a semi-recent workout convert. Prior to 2006 I weighed about 295, and the Dominos guy knew me by name. Then I kicked the happy pills, got my ass in the gym, and it’s become a real lifestyle now. I’m not super hardcore, but I spend enough time in the gym to know a good workout song from a bad one. This, my friends, is the worst list of workout music ever.

(hint: there is one way, and one way only, I’d burn calories with Avril Lavigne, and listening to “Here’s to Never Growing Up” isn’t it)

The above list is based on BPM (beats per minute) , but the only BPM I care about at the gym is the one my heart rate monitor displays. For me it’s about rhythm (for running) and violence (for lifting). So what’s the Rev crank when he needs a little extra push? Most anything from Pantera usually works. I’m really picky. Sometimes a song makes sense when putting it in my playlist, but just falls flat at the gym (maybe the intro is too long, or there’s such a long crossfade that it takes eons to end). That said, these two songs are 1000% guaranteed to achieve results. Feel free and add to the list over on Facebook.

First: In Flames “Only For the Weak”

Second: Cradle of Filth’s cover of “Hell Awaits”

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