Prolific Streaker Retires After 519 Sprints In His Birthday Suit
From Wimbledon to the Super Bowl, Mark Roberts has seen it all, and they’ve seen all of him. Roberts, 48, of Liverpool, England is the world’s most prolific streaker. He retired this week after 519 streaks, including Wimbledon and the 2004 Super Bowl. He has spent more than 30 nights in jail during two decades of letting his manhood loose in the breeze of internationally televised events.
His reason for hanging it up? Gravity is bringing the value of his assets down, and even his kids’ friends are making fun of him.
‘There’s no major venue or event I haven’t done,’ Roberts told the Daily Mail. ‘But I’m nearly 49 now and my children have begged me to stop. It’s time. I’m not ready for my slippers just yet, but gravity’s against me.’
Most kids get embarrassed by the clothes their parents do wear. But let’s face it: you’d much rather see dad’s black socks with sandals or mom’s FUPA pants than have one of them flapping their nards on broadcast TV.
A Daily Mail reporter joined Roberts for his last streak, an idle moment of exhibitionism in freezing Buckinghamshire park. The nudist veteran revealed that, though he has an unspectacular endowment, that’s not what the crowds want to see:
‘I’ve shown my todger enough now, I think I’ve earned my stripes. Anyway, it’s the buttocks that make people laugh.’